I just had an incident at the corner of Chestnut and Wabash. I was walking from my bank towards the ING direct cafe, as I prepared to cross the street an elderly woman standing all of 4′5″ was waiting to cross in the opposite direction. Her back was hunched and she wore a red down jacket which hung to her knees, a pair of camel brown orthopedic Dr. Scholls with a 2″ platform and crept slowly with her cane up to the intersection. At the 4 way stop a gold Mercedes had stalled in the midst of the intersection and motioned both of us to cross. I waited for her lead as it was clear she needed more time to cross. She yelled at him to go! go! indicating her unwillingness to step out infront of cars going every which way~ and there were suddenly cars in every direction…waiting…
The woman glanced around furitively…and in an instant her panic escalated…it was clear she felt forced to cross infront of all these vehicles and as I began to walk towards her..she froze half way out in the path of traffic, tilted her head back, looked at me and screamed,”I’M SO SCARED!”
The sound hit me right between the eyes. I burst into tears, completely moved by her honesty and her need to express her fear in that moment so she could start moving and get across the street. We met 1/4 of her way across and I wheeled myself around to walk her over to the side I had just left. Thankfully no one honked. I believe her scream got them to behave, it certainly humbled me! She mumbled “Thank you Thank you Thank you…” all the way across the street. “They don’t see me. Even though I wear red, they don’t see me!” I stood there full out bawling, on the corner as she walked slowly away.
In the moment I tried to figure out what moved me so much about this woman, and I realized she was so much more courageous than I. She screams what needs to be screamed while I spend my time managing myself: my appearance, my rest and my life to minimize the impact of my disease on others. Her honesty was brutal. Yet she perseveres, in her red down jacket and her cane and her close cropped grey hair…going about her day telling the truth.
I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARED!
